Beware of the saboteur
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Beware of the saboteur

When you’re on a journey to get fitter, lose weight/body fat and improve your general health, you’d think that friends and family would be behind you cheering on right? Not always.

As you get started you’ll notice people offering words of support, but as soon as something you’re doing doesn’t fit in with their weekly trip to Greggs, you’ll notice a shift in their tone with you.

At work your lunch of a salad gets met with an inquisitive ‘oooh what you got there then?‘, but when the shift changes it becomes a ‘Salad again? Doesn’t it get boring eating like a rabbit?’ or the office chocolate stash is suddenly relocated to the desk next to yours.

I don’t want to change, so why do you?

You’ve embarked on this journey and you’re radiating health, vitality and feeling great, so why are you sensing resentment from those around you? There are many reasons and it’s really one of those times when it says more about them.


  • They’ve always been able to eat loads without gaining weight?
  • Could they be a yoyo dieter?
  • Your new regime doesn’t fit in with their takeout habits?
  • They liked things the way they were.
  • Your success is making them feeling like a failure.

Regardless of their reasons, don’t take it to heart. You’re making changes for you so keep going!

Closer to home

It’s not uncommon for your saboteur to be closer to home. A partner, a parent or your children even. It’s much easier to embark on a weight-loss journey with those you love totally supporting you, but sometimes the most resistance to a new you is THEM.

More salad in the fridge, less ice cream in the freezer, no beer and pizza on a Friday night can feel threatening to a partner and I’m not just referring to husbands or boyfriends. Mothers can be less than supportive with comments like ‘I don’t like it when you’re too thin’ or ‘Isn’t my food good enough for you anymore?’.

Spreading the good vibes

When you’ve been dieting for a while, you’re glowing, buzzing with energy and are kicking yourself for not doing it sooner, there’s nothing wrong in wanting the same thing for your loved ones, but unless they make that decision for themselves, you’re never going to win them over.

You can try to get them to diet unknowingly by making some changes to the type of food you cook at home, but this approach is often met with hostility and you’ll end up falling out. While you have their best interests at heart, forcing your new found love for health and fitness can lead to friction, fall-outs and resentment.

Remember, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to dieting and what’s working for you may not work for someone else. Without a doubt, a calorie deficit will work for EVERYONE but how you achieve it is the tricky thing. The most successful diet plans are those that fit easily into your lifestyle and we are all different, but be ready with a supportive ear when someone does eventually ask how you’re doing it.

What if the saboteur is you?

Why would you want to stop yourself from achieving your goals? Fear of change is one reason and trying to please everyone but never putting yourself on your list of priorities is quite common. We desperately want to change but feel guilty or are made to feel guilty for wanting something for ourselves.

We can come up with many excuses as to why we can’t start that journey, are any of yours here?
  • Diet starts on Monday but Monday never comes.
  • I can’t start dieting this month because of birthdays/anniversaries/celebrations.
  • I don’t have time to make healthy food for myself.
  • I can’t afford to spend extra money on healthy foods for myself as well as feeding my family.
  • I can’t afford to buy a new wardrobe when I’ve lost the weight.
  • Why partner says they love me the way I am.
Hitting rock bottom and your reason why

There’s normally a trigger to someone wanting to lose weight, be fitter or be healthier. A health scare, a situation or a photo that jolts you into wanting to make positive changes can be really powerful tools.

For me it was this photo.

2016 and a visit to a park with my sons. It was a hot day and I was surrounded by young mums in their skinny jeans and vest tops with their children. I had so many insecurities going on. From the size 20 skirt and top I wore, the hair loss from my pregnancy that was more and more evident.

This photo only highlighted everything that I was unhappy about and got me on the road to making positive changes.

There will always be someone who may try to make you feel bad for trying to make positive changes, but never let that stop you from achieving what you want.